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Leather Bar Hanky Code
This page is dedicated to clay of Austin.
For decades, hankies (bandanas) have been worn -- in the left or right back pocket -- at Gay leather bars and runs to signal interest or specialization in particular sexual practices. It's also been adopted by gay leather women and some heterosexuals in the BDSM scene. But I caution against investing too much in the study of hankies. In Ask Larry Larry Townsend explains:
The wearing of colors (hankies) to display one's interest has been the subject for much tongue-in-cheek advise. Several of the most widely circulated lists have resulted from a couple of guys sitting down and trying to tag every conceivable activity with the most outlandish hue imaginable. (p.60-61)
Also understand that there are multiple versions of the hanky code -- mostly determined by region. Most likely over time the symbolism will codify as one version of the code will predominate over the Internet and become the most widely accepted. (Such is the nature of our wired world.)
For you convenience --- amusement --- here is one such "Hanky Code":
| Worn on Left | Color | Worn on Right |
|---|---|---|
| Heavy S&M Top | Black | Heavy S&M Bottom |
| Looking for Femme Bottom | Black Lace Hanky | Femme Bottom |
| Bondage Top | Grey | Bondage Bottom |
| Fister | Red | Fistee |
| Golden Shower Top | Yellow | Golden Shower Bottom |
| Scat Top | Brown | Scat Bottom |
| Piercer | Purple | Piercee |
| Anal Sex, Top | Dark Blue | Anal Sex, Bottom |
| Wants Oral Sex | Light Blue | Expert at Oral Sex |
| Dildo User, Top | Light Pink | Dildo User, Bottom |
| Likes Drag | Lavender | In Drag |
| Uniform Top | Olive Drab | Uniform Bottom |
| Sixty-niner | Robin's Egg Blue | Sixty-niner |
| Genital Torturer | Teal Blue | Genital Torturee |
| Breast Torturer | Dark Pink | Breast Torturee |
| 2-Handed Fister | Dark Red | 2-Handed Fistee |
| Likes Menstruating Women | Maroon | Is Menstruating Woman |
| Likes Navel Worship | Mauve | Navel Worshiper |
| Likes Armpit Worship | Magenta | Armpit Worshipper |
| Has 8" or More | Mustard | Size Queen |
| 2 Looking for 1 | Gold | 1 Looking for 2 |
| Anything Goes | Orange | Not Now, Thanks |
| Two Tons O'Fun | Apricot | Chubby Chaser |
| Foot Fetish Top | Coral | Shrimper |
| A Cowboy | Rust | His Horse |
| Spanker | Fuschia | Spankee |
| Dines off Tricks | Lime Green | Dinner Plate |
| Rimmer | Beige | Rimmee |
| Uncut Possessor | Brown Lace | Likes Uncut |
| Cut Possessor | Brown Satin | Likes Cut |
| Latex Fetish Top | Charcoal | Latex Fetish Bottom |
| Owns a Suit | Gray Flannel | Likes Men in Suits |
| Masturbate Me | White | Will Masturbate Both |
| Shaver | Red/White Stripes | Shavee |
| Likes Black Bottom | Black/White Stripe | Likes Black Top |
| Likes Latino Bottom | Brown/White Stripe | Likes Latino Top |
| Likes Oriental Bottom | Yellow/White Stripe | Likes Oriental Top |
| Likes White Bottom | White Lace | Likes White Top |
| Wears Boxer Shorts | Paisley | Likes Boxer Shorts |
| Star F*cker | Silver Lame | Star |
| Wants Muscleman Bottom | Gold Lame | Wants Muscleman Top |
| Has Tattoos | Leopard | Likes Tattoos |
| Smokes Cigars | Tan | Likes Cigars |
| Rubber/Mud, Top | Wine | Rubber/Mud, Bottom |
| Bartender | Cocktail Napkin | Bar Groupie |
| Tearoom Top | Doily | Tearoom Bottom |
| Cuddler | Teddy Bear | Cuddlee |
| Gives Oil Massages | Handywipe | Wears It Well |
| Rides a Motorcycle | Chamois | Likes Bikers |
| Outdoor Sex, Top | Mosquito Netting | Outdoor Sex, Bottom |
| Lover's Out, My Place OK | Toothbrush | Your Place ONLY |
Further Reading on Etiquette and Protocol in a BDSM and Leather Context
- This site's History and Protocol section
- Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol by Ambrosio
- Part 1: General Principles
- Part 2: More Specific Guidelines
- Part 3: Cruising With Class
- Part 4: Play Parties
- Part 5: Flagging, Symbols, and Rituals
- Part 6: A Few Notes on High Protocol
- Part 7: In Closing
- The Entire Article on a Single Page
- Etiquette for the Scene by Rose
- Civility and Incivility in the Scene by
Chris M [Black Rose of Washington DC] - A Proposed "Pansexual Protocol" by Ambrosio
- To Share or Not to Share? by Rowan Ste. Julian
- Commandments: Ten Rules for Dominants / Ten Rules for Submissives (from the SOJ)
The Mythology of the "Old Guard"
If people start telling stories not as they were, but as they would like them to be, that procedure can be used by anybody for any purpose. So I think that we need to be consistent in the truth.
- Robert Bryan, Stonewall participant
- The Mythology of the "Old Guard"
- Old Guard? If You say so. By Joseph W. Bean
- The Old Guard History, Origins and Traditions By Guy Baldwin, M.S. (from The Ties That Bind)
- Old Guard, New Guard By Gayle Rubin
- The Myth of the Old Guard By Jack Rinella
- Multiple Tops: Master, Mistress and Daddy Makes Three By Master L.J.E. An Old Guard view of 'Net Generation polyamoury.
- Marginalia on the Old Guard, Leather Traditions, and BDSM History by Ambrosio contains "Leather's Military Heritage," "Six Contrasting Definitions of the 'Old Guard,'" "Napoleon Bonaparte's Imperial Guard," and "What was the First Use of the Term Old Guard in a Leather Context?"
- Rover's column in the December 1973 issue of California Scene Magazine: Earliest documented use of the phrase "old guard" in a Gay Biker --- and possibily Leather --- context (depending on whether you think Gay Biker qualifies as Leather.)
- Why Old Guard? by David Masterson
If we are demanding that our history be respected, then we have to respect it ourselves. You have to apply the same criteria to our history that it be worthwhile, that it be accurate, that it be well-researched. We should recognize our warts as well as our flowers, as it were.
- David Carter, Historian
Further Reading on Etiquette in General
- Etiquette by Emily Post: This is an online republication of the 1922 edition of Emily Post's 627-page first edition Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home (The 1922 edition is the most highly recommended book for High Procotol.)
- U. S. Flag Protocol (Title 4)
- George Washington's "Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation"
- Cardinal Newman On Being a Gentleman
- Passage from Jane Austen's Northhanger Abbey
Further Etiquette and Protocol Links
- Additional links in the History and Protocol section.