The Difference Between SM and Abuse

a statement from Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM)

SM:

An SM scene is a controlled situation.

Abuse:

Abuse is an out-of-control situation.

SM:

Negotiation occurs before an SM scene to determine what will and will not happen in that scene.

Abuse:

One person determines what will happen.

SM:

Knowledgable consent is given to the scene by all parties.

Abuse:

No consent is asked for or given.

SM:

The "bottom" has a safeword that allows them to stop the scene at any time they need to for physical or emotional reasons.

Abuse:

The person being abused cannot stop what is happenning.

SM:

Everyone involved in the SM scene is concerned about needs, desires, and limits of others.

Abuse:

No concern is given to the needs, desires, and limits of the abused person.

SM:

The people in the SM scene are careful to be sure that they are not impaired by alcohol or drug use during the scene.

Abuse:

Alcohol or drugs are often used before an episode of abuse.

SM:

After an SM scene, the people involved feel good.

Abuse:

After an episode of abuse, the people involved feel bad.

Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) is a group for lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, and transexual women who are interested in exploring SM, fetishes, BD, and uninhibited sexual expression in a safe, sane, consensual, and confidential way.

For more info on Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM):

(My thanks to Lolita - LSM National Outreach Officer - for giving me permission to repost this statement.)