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Protocol
Etiquette and Manners
In the Scene
Think of three Things, whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account.
- Benjamin Franklin
- How The Internet Killed (Or Maybe Just Changed) Dallas' Leather Scene by Anna Merlan. August 25, 2011.
I love this article! It's from 2011, but it's still accurate. Maybe more so than in 2011. It's also well written and perceptive. - Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol by Ambrosio
- Etiquette for the Scene by Rose
- Sorry Manners: Civility and Incivility in the Scene by Chris M [Black Rose of Washington DC]
- A Proposed "Pansexual Protocol" by Ambrosio
- To Share or Not to Share? by Rowan Ste. Julian
- Commandments: Ten Rules for Dominants / Ten Rules for Submissives (from the Society of Janus) written by Mistress Michelle Peters
- A Leather Bar Hanky Code
At Parties
- The previously listed Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol contains a section on party etiquette.
- What To Expect At a Play Party by Mistress Constance
- The "SSB-B (Soc.Subculture.Bondage-Bdsm) FAQ" by by Unrealities includes a section named I want to attend a play party, what is the etiquette?
- My Experience with Play Parties by Heidi, the impudent guttersnipe
- Sample Party Rules: SAS/M's old party rules offered as an example of what to expect at most group sponsored play parties. (Note: These are the old party rules. The official party rules have since been revised.)
Mainstream Etiquette
The BDSM world is an extention of the larger world and the etiquette and protocols of the larger world still apply -- sometimes to a greater extent. A good dom still says "please" and "thank you" and apologizes when appropriate. A good sub will not push others out of their way when fetching a drink for their dom.
- Etiquette by Emily Post: This is an online republication of the 1922 edition of Emily Post's 627-page first edition Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home (The 1922 edition is the most highly recommended book for High Procotol.)
- George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation
- Cardinal Newman On Being a Gentleman
- Passage from Jane Austen's Northhanger Abbey
- Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress by Benjamin Franklin
- U. S. Flag Protocol (Title 4)
Netiquette
The use of the Internet is in its relative infancy. In the words of counsel, it is 'an unruly beast.' Or so it will certainly become without a foundation of good-neighbor commercial principles.
-- Justice Janet M. Wilson of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice in Toronto
- Some Notes on Netiquette and 'Net Basics by Ambrosio
- Netiquette by Virginia Shea. An entire book available on the Internet.
- About BDSM Usenet Newsgroups
- SD's Tips for Getting Along on ASB
- Some reasons for ASB's mores
- Some types of posts unwelcome on ASB
- Mostly BDSM Acronyms (After Big Al, Frites, and Harry Yeatts)
- The Idiocy of Chat Conventions by Rowan Ste. Julian
- An Argument for 'Netiquette' Holds Up in Court - New York Times - July 16, 1999. Netiquette gets legal recognition in Canada
Affiliated, Related, and Similar Communities
Gorean
- What is Gor? by Silk: A thoughtful article on the Gor phenomena.
- Chain gang by Julia Gracen: a fascinating, well written, and insightful Salon.com article about the Gor community.
- Insight Into The Gorean Lifestyle by Michael
- Pain For Your Pleasure: A Learning Experience by Fire-Soul
- Parodies of the Gor novels
Religion, Spirituality, and BDSM
- Sado-masochistic Ritual in a Thelemic Context by Raven Greywalker (Lilith)
- Feminism, Wicca, and D/s by Rowan Ste. Julian
- Femminismo, Wicca e D/s di Rowan Ste. Julian
- Christians and BDSM Q&A by Sir Gardener
D/s in the Bible
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the savior of the body.
Ephesians 5:23
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 6:25
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement
1 Peter 3:1 and 6
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power (control) of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power (control) of his own body, but the wife.
1 Corinthians 7:3 - 4
Polyamory
If you fear lest you may not be perfectly equitable in treating more than one wife, then you shall be content with one.
The Koran - 4:3
Vampyres
- The Black Veil V.2: A Voluntary Code of Conduct for Vampyres/Vampires Written Father Sebastian of House Sahjaza; Amended by Lady Melanie; Revised by Michelle Belanger of House Kheperu.
- Michelle Belanger
- Crimson-L Mailing List: a forum for the discussion of vampire-oriented eroticism and it's aesthetic.